Personal Life

Favourites And Conquering My Fears

Well where do I start this month on my favourites this month, I have been very busy what with moving house, changing jobs and a few personal set backs in my personal life that have majorly triggered my anxiety. However I wouldn’t have been able to have survived through it without the help of close good friends, my lovely parents and I love them to moon and back for supporting me emotionally and financially over the last few months. I haven’t completely recovered from the scarring and still have a few minor issues, but I have started a new job, new life and turned over a completely new leaf, I just need to get my confidence back up.

However, I have been kept sane by having my own entertainments. First of all I would like to start with overcoming my phobias. Most of my close friends, that know me will know that I suffer from Coulrophobia which is in fact a phobia of clowns. This all started when I was a little girl, I remember Stephen King’s 1990 version of ‘IT’ a psychological thriller about a thing living in the drain that feeds on fear and murders children, following the story on from a group of five friends from Derry to when they are grown ups. I thought what with Halloween coming up and feeling brave for when the new version comes out onto the cinema, as I was planning on seeing it out of intrigue. My phobia of clowns wounded me from childhood having a birthday party when I was little, a Ronald McDonald dressed entertainer in form of a clown came out to host party games, I ran into the corner and cried. My phobia of clowns affected me so much that when working as an usher at the Hippodrome years ago, there was a show called Slava’s Snow Show, I must recommend a beautiful piece of theatre that is child friendly and beautifully staged performance of mime, I remember standing by the curtain watching my audience and nearly hyperventilating when an actor dressed as a clown came out from behind me. I thought I’ll conquer my fear of clowns. I thought I would start by watching the 1990 version of ‘IT.’ However it didn’t scare me as much as I thought it was going to but still panicked me when I went to sleep for a few nights, scared of waking up to find Pennywise standing in front of me, just like the scene in IT of one of the bullies as an adult sitting in a mental health home waking up to find Pennywise’s face in a full moon.


I must say though whilst sitting in the cinema watching the 2017 version of IT whilst on a date, I was more petrified of the 1990 version than I was this one, as Tim Curry was phenominal as the tormenting clown, and in my eyes as an actor he is iconic and really frightened me as a child with his outstanding performance. I was not scared that much of the new version, I found maybe watching the more iconic 90’s version hat initially scared me, made me less frightened whilst watching this version. However, if you like Stranger Things you may actually like watching this version of IT as it is similar types of special effects and layout, and both set in the 1980s. However, I was proud of my self achievement sitting through both versions of IT.

Furthermore this leads me onto TV series and NetFlix, I wondered what all the hype was, so after speaking to my sister, she says if I am a fan of Spielberg and Stephen King then I’d love Stranger Things. I watched a few episodes then I was actually hooked. I loved it, sci-fi psychological 1980’s set thriller, full of amazing actors and emotions and young romances. I highly recommend.


I also watched a series called Big Mouth a series, a cartoon based on young people going through puberty, going through homosexuality, periods, teenage hormones and menstruation. Very informative and educational for young people, but also hilariously funny.

I am also watching on Youtube an old 90’s series called Sweet Valley High based on my favourite childhood books by Francine Pascal about the lives of twins Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield. It takes me back to my early childhood when my older sister would watch this coming of age drama, it’s also interesting to see the 90’s fashion that they have. For any of you that are late 90’s or noughties children, think of Gossip Girl or The OC but in the very early 90’s.

Also as my favourites are Bad Moms 2 such a great Christmas film, Susan Sarandon, Christine Baranski and Mila Kunis are all amazing. One for the holidays and even funnier than the first Bad Moms film, I am not always a fan of movie sequels but this one is a must watch.

I would also like to talk about shopping, a well presented hobby of mine. Tiger shop has some amazing cheap gifts and Christmas presents. They have everything from playdoh, candles, lava lamps, ice cream, toiletries and magnifying glasses, I am not joking this shop is like Aladdin’s cave anything you’re looking from gadgets, toys, nicknacks, snacks even, they have got it all in stock.

I would also like to talk about books, as you know I am trying to develop my vocabulary and writing ideas for my onside hobby of creating scripts by reading more books fact and fiction. I have found reading very therapeutic and it’s amazing in the imagination meeting new people. I loved reading My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella. It tells the story of 26 year old Katie Brenner who is a village girl living in London in a box room working a boring admin drop whilst trying to work her way up the ladder, however she unfairly loses her job and is forced to move back home to her father in a Somerset village to work on his farm and helping with her father and stepmoms glamping business. I enjoyed this book, as a lot of what has happened to Katie has happened to me, in regards working so hard and losing my job, living away from home in a box room and also chasing my dreams, it also talks about fear of failing. Perfect read for ladies in their twenties still trying to find themselves.

I am also reading youtuber Melanie Murphy’s autobiography, it is so eye opening, Melanie is an Irish 27 year old youtuber, who explores feminism, sexuality, mental health and eating disorders. I am amazed that such a beautiful and intelligent woman has been through similar things to me, she is my age and has experienced failure and tried so many things and failed and succeeded, but also overcome so much, If you suffer from depression and anxiety or any mental health issues, or if you are a woman in you’re late twenties still trying to find yourself, read this book, it is not just an autobiography and it helps you learn self acceptance. It’s nice that young women are brave enough to talk about their anxiety and mental health past.

melanie murphy

Whilst talking about mental health check out these Youtubers, they discuss everything from make up, gender equality and relationships to mental health and body confidence. These incredible women are Hannah Witton and Zoella. They also do book reviews so if you’re looking for good reads they explore a wide selection of reading lists.

If anyone knows of any good books or films or would like to share their opinions on the following favourites please don’t hesitate to leave a comment, I am open to suggestions.


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