Personal Life

New Year/ New Me and adulting

To all my followers and viewers I have decided to write this blog introducing my plans for 2018.

Recently as you know 2017 was very up and down and like many human beings, times can be very emotional and overwhelming but also the fact that this year I will be two years off hitting 30.

Career

I have taken risks like leaving my job in theatre plus other jobs I was working to take a risk and get a more higher status ‘regular income’ basically a more ‘grown up job.’ Yes a long the way costly mistakes were made and my first taste of management was challenging and hard, however I overcame my fears, learnt from my mistakes. In a career status, speaking from experience management and supervisory responsibility is not all glamorous, I thrive on becoming the best I came from places where I was well liked and thrived off being ‘top dog’ the go to girl, to entering a different type of environment doing managerial roles. Coming in as a manager is the toughest of all, I had to learn basics, new rules, but also very challenging times of confrontation not only from the odd customer, but also from staff. I thought about it, it’s not easy having someone come in above you at work, which is how my new and previous teams must have felt when I walked in as a boss. But I have learned to earn respect, keep my private life private, don’t get too emotionally involved, (it can be hard to discipline and see both sides of the story during conflict, if you get too emotionally involved.) I used to think I had to be ‘loved’ by everyone and I know now that with management you can’t bend over backwards to please everyone, you’re going to get disliked either way when you’re new and the next level up by someone or other and that’s what I have found. I have been criticised, scrutinised for every little mistake I did, being moaned at everything, or compared to the last person that you replaced. I am not going to lie this was not easy at first, especially in my new job where I came in. I would often say to myself I am trying my best and yet they compare me to this person, I made a mistake but so did this person, but I then thought about it and my mom made an excellent point, she’s says it might not be easy for you but it’s not easy for them having someone not too much older coming in over the top of them. They don’t like and they are testing you. It’s all part and parcel of the management job and starting a new job. I then did what I always do, put in 110% into my job,I would turn up early, get stuck in with any tasks, I have done it all mopped up sick, cleaned poo off a loo seat. If the staff see me doing it they can take my example, my attitude in leadership is that nothing is beneath me and that’s how I always will be. Eventually the staff are now learning to accept me, I have a good relationship with my team as an open door policy but also I have learnt diplomacy, confidentiality and not to have a biased opinion in a variety of situations.

leader meme

My main reasons into going into leadership roles, which I have done since the age of 20 is because I wouldn’t make a good doctor or nurse and I wouldn’t have the patience of being a school teacher; partly because I wanted to help people and inspire people but as well, so I can use my ideas and creative input and be in more of a position where I can contribute ideas. I am a very creative individual but also very people orientated, with management it has a lot of upsides, progression, input, learning new things likes deliveries, administration and payroll, but also dealing with people. I don’t compare my style of management to other people’s anymore as that is the worse thing I can do psychologically to myself. I develop my own style, and I want to be me, not anyone else. I want to learn what I can, I am not interested in being the best. Management tests your ethic and your patience at times and you have to be careful how to conduct yourself not only in the business but outside of work, social media, it’s like being famous, you have to keep your respect and dignity. However, when a customer is satisfied and staff are happy it is also very rewarding and watching staff progress it’s also very rewarding in itself too. This is by far not only the most proper ‘grown up’ job I’ve had it’s been the most highly demanding and physically and mentally challenging job and it has strengthened me as an individual.

leadership 2

Dating and Relationships

I have had long term relationships, but approaching my late twenties and nearly hitting 30, maybe I should think about settling down and creating a family of my own. The fact of the matter is, I have had offers, I have had dates and short relationships that have ended, but I believe that things happen for a reason. The right man will come along when I least expect it and if I marry I want to be 100% certain that it is with the right man, I am not rushing into settling down, on the contrary, I definitely want to have a career and not have children until I am at least in my mid thirties. If I have children I want it to have a hands on dad that is allowed to take paternity leave too and help me. But also I don’t want a child until 100% in love and I know the relationship is solid, we of course cannot predict the future but I want to have children where I don’t have to ferry them off to dad’s at weekends. On the same hand single mom’s who have different circumstances I highly admire and a lot of single mothers manage and do a good job (my inner feminist inside me speaking) women can do just as good a job bringing children up solo as opposed to women who are still with the fathers. However, life would still be easier for everyone all round if the child lived with both parents who still love each other.

My other reasons for not rushing to settle down is that I am going to be blunt here, but I am too self centred to have children, I see my sister who does an amazing job of being a young mom and bringing her own kids up, she’s a terrific mother but also part of being a terrific mother is that sacrifices, emotionally, physically and financially have to be made to give them that upbringing. My mom also an amazing mom, sacrificed her career of being a top chef to look after us whilst growing up, we weren’t the wealthiest of families around that time and with my father losing his job at the time I probably couldn’t have luxury toys and clothes other kids in my class had. Oh my, I’m going off on a tangent , my initial point being, I do not want to give up my career and leisure right now. As a young woman, there’s so many things I want to do and achieve, hence being too selfish to have children. There’s too much I want to do and see before I even start thinking about settling down to have children.

My Before 30 Bucket List.

  • I want to settle into a job with excellent progression routes and then progress into higher management.
  • I want to be able to read and complete a 30 year book challenge (The idea came from feminist author/ blogger Hannah Witton with her 50 year book challenge)
  • I want to cut my hair and donate it to charity, (This is my plan for March)
  • I want to volunteer for a charity again like I used to.
  • I would like to visit China, New York, Belfast, Newcastle (I live in the UK and have never visited Newcastle), Poland.
  • Complete a course in copy writing ( I am currently in the process of)
  • Learn cake decoration ( I found a cheap course locally where you can practise cake decoration as I love baking)
  • Budgeting better (always improvement on saving money)
  • I would like to also visit Harry Potter world.
  • I want at least 3 trips to London to see some shows I have never seen before.
  • Go to Edinburgh Fringe Festival and visit Jane Austin’s house in Bath.

There you go here are my thoughts and views of conquering woman hood and here’s to 2018 a lady nearing the end of my twenties. I will also be writing monthly favourites blogs and starting a book club on my blogs now and you can share recommendations and thoughts openly on the comments.

1 thought on “New Year/ New Me and adulting”

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