Hello to all my readers I am just giving you guys an insight into my life and for my readers if interested or not interested. As you all may know I turned 30 not so long ago, and this is a more positive read, I will be going through an interview with myself what I have done and planned for my thirties. All you men and women before reaching 30 have this pressure to achieve things by the time they are in their 30’s and comparing ourselves and our journeys and achievements with other people, I’m going to speak about my experiences here so that you pre 30 or just turned 30 year olds can relate and know that at 30 you’re still young! Life is just beginning.
I think we have this conventional idea our heads as we grow from teen to adulthood and when we should have a career, get married, have children you name it. Everyone’s story is different.
For the past 3 years I have been in an on/ off relationship with my fiance and I will just for protection purposes for now refer to him as James. The year I met James, I was living in a shared house with people older and some younger than me, I was maybe out of 10 people in that house, I was one of the very few still in my twenties; A lot of these people were still in their 30’s and one person was in their 40’s, and they were very chilled out and not in a rush, some of them had been married previously and gotten divorced; some were saving to buy a property; some were back from travelling and at that time, my friend Natalie was due to get married the year I met James, I felt so behind and made the mistake of surrounding myself around our group of girlfriends who were either married, engaged or pregnant at times I was asked, “Are you not getting married yet?” ”You got kids?” I was like hello I am waiting for the right man, if you guys have found Mr. Right then good for you, but at that time, I was having being single, I had my fair share of relationships, dates you name it and I was happy to just do what I did best, travel alone to another country, and do what I wanted to do, go to a festival, go out, I was happy with that and I used that time to build a career path for myself as a catering manager.
When my friend was walking down the aisle, not going to lie, I did feel behind compared to a lot of my other friends, but then I stood and thought about it and I was like hang on at that time I was at the tender age of 28 and I thought well what’s the rush really? There isn’t one. My older sister who I will protect her name and refer to her as Emily for now, she was married really young, she was barely out of her teens and was in young adulthood, she had her own house at very early age, my sister has always had a grown up head on her shoulders for her age and moved a lot faster in getting her life together more than myself, but then we both have had different journeys and are both very different people. When she 14 she was hanging out with older girls, drinking and smoking and wangling her way to get into clubs underage, I had a similar experience but not until I was 16 she was 14 when she was going through all that. She passed her driving test and had her first car, flat at 17 years of age. The difference between Emily and I is that Emily has had that desire to be more organised than me, she has everything detailed and planned down to a T, whereas I have been more spontaneous, however though people’s circumstances are different, and Emily growing up very quick, maybe on reflection too quick but found herself divorced in her twenties and then years later found happiness and having children with her now husband and she couldn’t be happier and I’m happier she found her happily ever after; but growing up very quickly has matured her and she’s an exceptional mother and wife and has a new career going from beautician, turned childminder, and now has a nice career helping people working for the Citizens advice.
I have been with my fiance for three years now, he’s a little bit older than me, I would say being a girl and being the more organised one, I am more mature one but he has the spontaneity.
Girls Don’t Like Boys Girls Like Cars And Money!
This isn’t the case at all. However it still took me three years to get my own flat, pet bunny and car, and yeah at my age people might criticize a KA and think that is a 17-year-old car, but it’s cute enough to get me from A to B, especially whilst I save for a wedding, which I will eventually sell and get a more efficient runner.
My mom is a good example due to her always working close to our family home or in Birmingham City Centre, she has never felt the need to drive at all and she’s in her fifties and still cannot drive to this day and do you know what that is ok! Friends of mine who are in their late 30’s haven’t even passed their test yet, so this whole rush that you need to be driving by a certain age not the case.
Everyone’s circumstances are different, I only started to drive when I moved from Birmingham to the countryside as I realised the struggle of not being able to get to work or civilisation without you’re own transport. Everyone refers to buses and trains as peasant wagons, but not the case, people I met in the city have sold their cars or not even had a driving lesson and they save more money getting public transport. Having a car may come with this delusion of being a grown up, but I’ll tell you now, for the tax, insurance, MOT renewal and petrol it still takes a chunk out of that monthly income, whereas public transport in some circumstances can save an individual a lot of money. So my point being, what’s the rush?!
I’ve heard a few friends and former colleagues say “I don’t like having a boss younger than me” I personally can see why, especially when you see someone further up the ladder and you’re not being promoted, but maybe that person has a lot of maturity for their age, they have more experience, a number of factors are involved in this.
I can relate to this as the boss I have now is 2 years younger me, but he has a degree in hospitality whereas I have a performing arts background, but I did become a supervisor at the tender age of 20, I was criticised and disliked for it and not taken seriously but I had to remember I was given this golden opportunity and at the age of 20, I didn’t have a long CV of managerial experience, I just started as bar and customer service Christmas temp, and was given a chance for promotion, this was mainly not because I was ambitious or gobby it was the fact that I had and still have a good work ethic and kept my head down and grafted, something as simple as that. But my point being that if you are 30 or so and still haven’t received that promotion maybe look at yourself and reflect on you’re own work ethic and behaviour or what things you’re company wants.
Emily Atack does stand up comedy and wrote a book focusing on her entering her 30’s
So for me I have different priorities as I was made redundant recently, and during lockdown and COVID 19 before being made redundant I was placed on/off the furlough scheme, so my key plans i.e. wedding and buying a house has had to be put back a little and whilst I have now gotten a new job, who knows what’s coming down the track.
But hello we are in the twenty first century there is no rush on getting married having a relationship, car, property, it is all about what makes the individual happy, we are now living in a liberated society and women are more independent and these old fashioned conventional ideas aren’t idealistic for everyone, we are all individuals, I am now in my early 30’s and I am not going to lie, I still love my classic Disney films and watching nostalgic teen shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer instead of indulging in documentaries or Panorama. Even 30 year old celebrities Emma Watson, who declares herself as “self partnered” and Emily Atack, she wrote about turning 30 and not having a driving license or kids, I highly recommend her autobiography, “Are We There Yet?”
If anyone likeminded or is approaching or has reached their 30’s please leave a comment on how you have found this to read or if you can relate.