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Life Begins At Thirty!

I Can't Keep Calm I'm Turning 30 Birthday Gift Notebook (7 x 10 Inches):  Novelty Gag Gift Book for Women Turning 30 (30th Birthday Present)  (Humorous ... Sisters, Aunts, Best Friends Or

Hello to all my readers I am just giving you guys an insight into my life and for my readers if interested or not interested. As you all may know I turned 30 not so long ago, and this is a more positive read, I will be going through an interview with myself what I have done and planned for my thirties. All you men and women before reaching 30 have this pressure to achieve things by the time they are in their 30’s and comparing ourselves and our journeys and achievements with other people, I’m going to speak about my experiences here so that you pre 30 or just turned 30 year olds can relate and know that at 30 you’re still young! Life is just beginning.

I think we have this conventional idea our heads as we grow from teen to adulthood and when we should have a career, get married, have children you name it. Everyone’s story is different.

Romantic Relationships.

For the past 3 years I have been in an on/ off relationship with my fiance and I will just for protection purposes for now refer to him as James. The year I met James, I was living in a shared house with people older and some younger than me, I was maybe out of 10 people in that house, I was one of the very few still in my twenties; A lot of these people were still in their 30’s and one person was in their 40’s, and they were very chilled out and not in a rush, some of them had been married previously and gotten divorced; some were saving to buy a property; some were back from travelling and at that time, my friend Natalie was due to get married the year I met James, I felt so behind and made the mistake of surrounding myself around our group of girlfriends who were either married, engaged or pregnant at times I was asked, “Are you not getting married yet?” ”You got kids?” I was like hello I am waiting for the right man, if you guys have found Mr. Right then good for you, but at that time, I was having being single, I had my fair share of relationships, dates you name it and I was happy to just do what I did best, travel alone to another country, and do what I wanted to do, go to a festival, go out, I was happy with that and I used that time to build a career path for myself as a catering manager.

When my friend was walking down the aisle, not going to lie, I did feel behind compared to a lot of my other friends, but then I stood and thought about it and I was like hang on at that time I was at the tender age of 28 and I thought well what’s the rush really? There isn’t one. My older sister who I will protect her name and refer to her as Emily for now, she was married really young, she was barely out of her teens and was in young adulthood, she had her own house at very early age, my sister has always had a grown up head on her shoulders for her age and moved a lot faster in getting her life together more than myself, but then we both have had different journeys and are both very different people. When she 14 she was hanging out with older girls, drinking and smoking and wangling her way to get into clubs underage, I had a similar experience but not until I was 16 she was 14 when she was going through all that. She passed her driving test and had her first car, flat at 17 years of age. The difference between Emily and I is that Emily has had that desire to be more organised than me, she has everything detailed and planned down to a T, whereas I have been more spontaneous, however though people’s circumstances are different, and Emily growing up very quick, maybe on reflection too quick but found herself divorced in her twenties and then years later found happiness and having children with her now husband and she couldn’t be happier and I’m happier she found her happily ever after; but growing up very quickly has matured her and she’s an exceptional mother and wife and has a new career going from beautician, turned childminder, and now has a nice career helping people working for the Citizens advice.

I have been with my fiance for three years now, he’s a little bit older than me, I would say being a girl and being the more organised one, I am more mature one but he has the spontaneity.

Girls Don’t Like Boys Girls Like Cars And Money!

This isn’t the case at all. However it still took me three years to get my own flat, pet bunny and car, and yeah at my age people might criticize a KA and think that is a 17-year-old car, but it’s cute enough to get me from A to B, especially whilst I save for a wedding, which I will eventually sell and get a more efficient runner.

My mom is a good example due to her always working close to our family home or in Birmingham City Centre, she has never felt the need to drive at all and she’s in her fifties and still cannot drive to this day and do you know what that is ok! Friends of mine who are in their late 30’s haven’t even passed their test yet, so this whole rush that you need to be driving by a certain age not the case.

Everyone’s circumstances are different, I only started to drive when I moved from Birmingham to the countryside as I realised the struggle of not being able to get to work or civilisation without you’re own transport. Everyone refers to buses and trains as peasant wagons, but not the case, people I met in the city have sold their cars or not even had a driving lesson and they save more money getting public transport. Having a car may come with this delusion of being a grown up, but I’ll tell you now, for the tax, insurance, MOT renewal and petrol it still takes a chunk out of that monthly income, whereas public transport in some circumstances can save an individual a lot of money. So my point being, what’s the rush?!

Career

I’ve heard a few friends and former colleagues say “I don’t like having a boss younger than me” I personally can see why, especially when you see someone further up the ladder and you’re not being promoted, but maybe that person has a lot of maturity for their age, they have more experience, a number of factors are involved in this.

I can relate to this as the boss I have now is 2 years younger me, but he has a degree in hospitality whereas I have a performing arts background, but I did become a supervisor at the tender age of 20, I was criticised and disliked for it and not taken seriously but I had to remember I was given this golden opportunity and at the age of 20, I didn’t have a long CV of managerial experience, I just started as bar and customer service Christmas temp, and was given a chance for promotion, this was mainly not because I was ambitious or gobby it was the fact that I had and still have a good work ethic and kept my head down and grafted, something as simple as that. But my point being that if you are 30 or so and still haven’t received that promotion maybe look at yourself and reflect on you’re own work ethic and behaviour or what things you’re company wants.

See the source image

Emily Atack does stand up comedy and wrote a book focusing on her entering her 30’s

What’s next?

So for me I have different priorities as I was made redundant recently, and during lockdown and COVID 19 before being made redundant I was placed on/off the furlough scheme, so my key plans i.e. wedding and buying a house has had to be put back a little and whilst I have now gotten a new job, who knows what’s coming down the track.

But hello we are in the twenty first century there is no rush on getting married having a relationship, car, property, it is all about what makes the individual happy, we are now living in a liberated society and women are more independent and these old fashioned conventional ideas aren’t idealistic for everyone, we are all individuals, I am now in my early 30’s and I am not going to lie, I still love my classic Disney films and watching nostalgic teen shows like Buffy The Vampire Slayer instead of indulging in documentaries or Panorama. Even 30 year old celebrities Emma Watson, who declares herself as “self partnered” and Emily Atack, she wrote about turning 30 and not having a driving license or kids, I highly recommend her autobiography, “Are We There Yet?”

Turning 30 - Home | Facebook

If anyone likeminded or is approaching or has reached their 30’s please leave a comment on how you have found this to read or if you can relate.

The lock down diaries, Work

Made COVID Redundant!

One in four employers expect to make redundancies as a result of coronavirus,  poll finds

Hello fellow readers, I thought I would share a written piece that the majority of the British population can relate to. Firstly, many apologies for missing a week out of my blog by not posting anymore entries, as you can appreciate when you read further on, you’ll see I have been very busy.

So to fill you guys in on the latest info, last week I was made redundant from my job as a secondary assistant manager working for an independent pub company. I was placed on/ off furlough throughout the COVID experience, which I will be honest was starting to create uncertainty for my future within the pub company. Everyday I was going into work wondering what was going on, but then eventually I had the strength to ask, and thought, if it involves me then I am entitled to know, as I had a gut feeling from how things were going they were putting future plans together for the next phase of reopening. I sent a polite email after phoning ACAS for advice on what to do and how to approach the matter, I stated my concerns and what I had observed and asked where does my future stand. My business owner sent me an email stating that they had been through the books, and my role now ceases to exist due to cutting costs and they now only need two managers; they reasoned that due to being the last manager to be hired the secondary assistant manager role ceases to exist, however they tried to include me into still working their as hourly paid staff, to which I politely explained and declined that I needed a salary to keep myself and my flat afloat, but I shall take redundancy.

Steeles Law Solicitors | Norwich, Norfolk Redundancy, Lay-Off, Short-Time  Working and Covid-19
Redundant!

Don’t Panic!

I would be lying right now if I said, I was chilled and happy after receiving such news. I didn’t cry I just silently panicked for the first hour. The thoughts going round in my head. Did I do something wrong?! Why me?! (Even though I new the answers to these questions they still went round in my brain.) That night I sat down and spoke with my partner and tried to sensibly discuss our options. I had some furlough to buy me some time, I can use this an opportunity to go back to live closer to family; I can go on holiday for a couple of weeks to chill out; I can re-assess options for retraining or how to economise a bit more and save money.

Firstly after reflecting on the negatives, I focussed on the positives, I can use this opportunity to turn over a new leaf, reinvent myself, make new friends and see what opportunities are out there. I also called ACAS to see what I can do and my entitlements regarding what pay I should receive. So I spent 2 hours the following day, working out how I am going to overcome this somewhat crisis. I was in a fortunate position that previously, two years ago I had been made redundant from a city centre pub, so I knew how to handle it better this time.


I worked out and calculated with worse case tax and NI contributions worse scenario, how much money I should receive roughly on my final pay date, to budget accordingly. But the one thing I thought about, after I spoke to Tonic Talent Recruitment Agency and told them my situation asking them for help, they were really supportive on the phone and I remember Conrad, a young gentleman I had known for years from networking hospitality management events, Conrad sympathised and assured me as best as they can they would help me, however there is not a lot of work about, but also assured me I was not alone in this current situation.

You’re Not Alone!

After coming off the phone to Conrad, his words sunk in and made me feel better, not about the fact that they didn’t have much at this present time, but what he said regarding the fact that “I am not alone in this situation!” This put me at peace, because I know there have been family members and friends and former colleagues of mine throughout the years I knew were also in the same boat as me and I hope they found as well as I did some comfort.

My best friend, who I will protect her real name, but for now I’ll refer to her as Rebecca; she worked for an independent travel company as a strong member of the marketing team and one of the longest lasting of her team, but she was also made redundant recently, and even stated the other day, usually in the past when she has applied for jobs, she has been inundated and headhunted within seconds; baring in mind she is very skilled and talented and experienced in her area, but she has also struggled and only managed to speak to one or two people in her field that are looking at hiring. But don’t be downhearted is my advice, and I know it’s hard not to, don’t let this ruin your confidence, as confidence pays off when interviewing for your potential new role. Also what helped me was to remember, you can be perfectly able to perform a job, but recruiters I have found and from my experience in management from recruiting and interviewing is that, other applicants could have better access to the venue than you; the applicants that were more successful maybe came across more confident than you or worse case scenario fabricated on their experience; Applicants may just have one key ingredient that recruiters are specifically looking for, for example, they might have already worked using the same app that the business already uses, and that requires less training; the applicant might be a certain age or have government guidelines that they can only have universal credit applicants. During this time the job market has been more competitive than ever, and each job or company in the main have had different rules and guidelines given to them by the government. I have been there in the past and recently, where I have applied for jobs and interviewed and I know I match the requirements and have experience to perform the job really well, but then I have faced rejection. So it can happen to anyone.

Finding The Perfect job

Factors to consider when applying for your role, and a way of moving forward in your next chapter is to consider your strengths and weaknesses. Carefully evaluate the job description and see if it is a job you’re experienced/ qualified to do, remember you don’t want to waste yours or the recruiters time and trip yourself up.

Be as honest as you can with the recruiter, tell them your strengths and feed off your experience and past contributions. For example, from being in catering management, I have been acting as a mental health representative for staff members suffering from mental illness or problems, but I have also conducted disciplinaries, I have also excelled in recruitment and the HR side of things so I have expressed my interest and explained that I am more of a people’s manager. Remember everyone is different and has things they excel at and in a team, they might want someone with your strengths to compensate for another team member who has strengths in another field.

One important rule, I know after being made redundant I had my time where I had a self pitying hour or two where I felt negative and didn’t even want to leave the house and not get out of my pyjamas some days; but then I thought I can either carry on like this and act on, or see this as an opportunity to start over and pick myself back up again. I knew the job I wanted after been made redundant and I put on my smartest outfit, dressing in a pencil skirt, blue blouse and high heels (I find heels add that bit of confidence, as I am rather short) if you dress and put a lot of work into your appearance for the job you really want, you can give off a good impression alone, as recruiters can see after your job loss, you’re making the effort and don’t look downtrodden. Dressing to impress can help confidence, self esteem, and also can show a recruiter a good first impression by showing them that you’ve made an effort.

Managing Your Time During Redundancy

How I managed my time during redundancy, I explored hobbies that I couldn’t do due to my previous work schedule, and took the time to basically not punish myself, but thought I really enjoy Human Resources so I started up a home learning course to build on my knowledge of this subject, and thought this could lead to my dream job being in Human Resources for a pub company or a theatre.

I spent two hours a day researching and applying for jobs that would suit myself and my experience.

One thing is give yourself a break! Don’t spend all day home learning or looking for a job, dedicate times and draw up a schedule of when you’re going to do your housework, job searching, and always schedule unwind time!

Interview Tips And How To Land The Job You Want

How Today's Tech Will Shape Tomorrow's Job Interview | TechCrunch
Redundancy and Reviewing your next move
  1. I revamped my CV, I got a relative and a friend to view it and help edit it, I emphasised on my experience and also transferable skills, i.e. recruiting when looking for a particular kind of role. Two/ three pairs of eyes are better than one. Tried to use a varied vocabulary as well in your CV this could emphasise your professionalism and your written communication skills, however do not use big words for sake of it and out of context, as it can be seen as trying to hard, but also can portray pretentiousness.
  2. Dress for the job you want, as I explained earlier dressed to impress. Embrace that confidence.
  3. I went onto YouTube and typed in job interview tips, a lot of these videos are very short but explain these tips and how and why they work.
  4. When applying for a job, make sure if it is on Indeed you add a covering letter instead of just submitting your CV, as it show that you have made an effort and gone that extra mile to state and outline your reasons for applying, it also gives you that connection to an employer as you have started written contact with them.
  5. When preparing for an interview always proof read the job description and see what language the recruiter uses, and the skills they are looking for, so that you know in your head roughly what kind of questions and experiences you’ll be asked about and to see if the job is right for you.
  6. I found performing role play interview scenarios, which I did with my friend and partner, where they play the role of the recruiter and ask you possible questions the recruiter could ask you, then you get your practise in and also get honest feedback. Practise interview questions you can find on the internet.
  7. Prepare for your interview the night before, I pick out my outfit and a back up outfit in case of wardrobe mishaps the day before, I also plan my route, put on some meditation and set my alarm.
  8. Get in touch with recruitment agencies as well as applying for jobs, as they can help you with your CV and also find a job that you would like and that would match your skills and expectations.

Thank you to all my readers for your readership, I hope this offers some help and form of comfort, and remember you’re not alone, we are living in strange times, but it won’t be like this forever, The UK has overcome a recession before and it will again.

Anyone who has or known someone that has been made redundant, please don’t hesitate to share any tips or experiences on how you dealt with this and what your plans are. For advice on being made redundant for advice regarding pay/ rights as employee, https://www.acas.org.uk/ or you can speak to someone from ACAS by calling this number HelplineĀ 0300 123 1100 they are open for chats Monday – Friday 8am – 6pm. I found this very useful.

For now I bid thee adieu

Ellie xx